When I drive home, I pass one of the biggest evangelical churches in Anchorage. A few seconds later, I pass an elegant, Catholic Cathedral. Before the Cathedral is out of my sight, sometimes with its bells ringing, the Mormon chapel is right in front of me.
This is everyday. Everyday coming to and from my home, I am reminded of how many different religions there are and how the people in those religions are adamant that they know the truth. Some are eager to share their knowledge with others…and some would rather witness without a word.
I wanted to know more about the reasons why people chose their religion. Is God actually leading them to their religion? And if they are all right, how can any religion be wrong?
Most of the people I spoke to are great friends of mine. Each genuine and kind, they offer thought-provoking statements leading me to wonder; What is the truth? What is the RIGHT religion?
For the past four years, I’ve been studying this subject and some could even consider it an obsession. For me, it is an intriguing subject matter: how someone’s faith is so strong, they do not question their religion or need to seek out other religions. Is this shortsighted? Or is this simply a matter of having a security in one’s faith?
I’ve never had that. What I have had is a strong relationship with God. I’ve never questioned His existence, even though, for a short time in my teenage years, I rebelled against the lessons I’d been taught. My father was Catholic, my mother, Baptist. I was raised with both of these religions in my life. I went to a Catholic school, baptized as a baby, and had my first communion, only I didn’t get to partake in the ceremony. (My parents decided to divorce weeks before the Easter Vigil and since life was chaotic, my first communion was forgotten.) If both of my parents had shared the same faith, there is no doubt I would’ve been able to celebrate my first communion. It wasn’t a big deal to my mother and my father wasn’t home to make sure it was taken care of. Obviously, if my father was strong in his Catholic faith, he wouldn’t have left the marriage, nor, one would point out, marry outside the Church. (Which he did). What he did do, was make sure his children were baptized in the Church and outside of taking me (and only me) to Mass on special occasions, little was said about the Church.
I have always felt a special bond towards my father when it came to the Catholic Church. I have fond memories of him taking me to Mass on the special holidays. Whether or not, my father was a ‘good’ Catholic is irrelevant in the sense, he had some belief the Church was true. He felt a duty to at least fight for his children to be baptized and felt in good conscience he was saving us from limbo if we were to die as children.
My grandmother took me to Sunday School at the Baptist Church every Sunday. The sermons were often the fire and brimstone kind, yet what I remember most was the music. I always felt a certain feeling of goodness with those old southern hymns. Is there anything more moving than hearing Amazing Grace and Just As I Am?
As a young child, I remember feeling as if it would be much easier if I could be one or the other: Catholic or Baptist. I felt drawn…in different ways, to both.
Yvette Hernandez, mother of three, was raised Catholic along with her husband. Both she and her husband believe with their whole heart that the Catholic Church is the original Church founded by Jesus Christ. Yet, she says, “Our church, and all other religions as well, are governed by humans, therefore {they are} subject to sin. Which is why your personal relationship with God is more important {than religion}. It will give you the light to receive from your religion.”
Yvette also pointed out that as an adult, the relationship one has with God, becomes their personal responsibility.
Eden Lunsford with her family
It is this personal responsibility, or free agency, the Mormons believe in. Eden Mara Lunsford, mother of eight, is a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Both she and her husband are members and raise their children in the church. Unlike Hernandez, who was raised in the Catholic Church, Lunsford is a Mormon Convert. She converted when she was eighteen years old after what she says were years of trying out different religions.
“My relationship with God is more important than my religion. The relationship I have with God has been something that has always preoccupied my thoughts, even as a child. I knew God gave me a curious mind, I just wanted to know the truth and I didn’t care what religion it was. I didn’t expect it to be “Mormon”. I knew for the first time in my life the Lord knew who I was. My relationship with my Father in Heaven has been enhanced by my religion.”
A couple of years ago, I read the book, FREE AT LAST, by Larry Huch. It changed my life. In this book, Huch explains Christians can break free from their past. The book delves into great detail how one can find freedom from depression, anger, abuse, insecurity and addiction through Jesus. All of this is backed up with Scripture and unlocks the secret to a freedom that includes good health, prosperity and a whole body, soul and spirit. I was so touched by this book, I started to watch Huch’s programs on television and became a regular visitor to his website. He taught me a new way to read the Bible.
Huch teaches Christians to get in touch with their Jewish Roots. After all, Jesus was a Jew. I started to read the Bible in a different way, with the mindset of the traditions Jesus taught as a Jewish man. I wanted to know more about the Jewish Jesus. So I started to ask the question to all of my Christian friends, “Why do we as Christians, not celebrate the Jewish Holidays? Why not Yom Kippur and Passover? Jesus did. Jesus died to take away the curse, but not the blessings…so why aren’t we all coming back to Shabbat?”
Sages of the Talmundteach that no person can teach this to you and no hearer can hear it. In other words, God has hand picked the individual to be an example of His blessings so that the rest of the world will come back to Shabbat.(www.larryhuchministries.com) When the rest of the world comes back to Shabbat, it is believed the Messiah will return.
Ashley Baker
Ashley Baker is a Messianic Jew, having been raised a Christian her entire life. She discovered Messianic Judaism four years ago when she was living in New York City. She explains that after many years of being discontented with modern church structures, she began to look for something that was truer to the original way Christianity and Judaism was practiced.
“I found a lot of depth in understanding the Torah and Scriptures from a purer viewpoint. I found the style of worship seemed more sincere and that Messianic Judaism is the closest to being Biblically correct than any religious structure I have found.” In an email to me, she writes, “My relationship with G-d is the most important to me. Religion, while it can be useful, is a man-made institution and always full of human flaws. Religious ideas can sometimes hamper my relationship with G-d because they are tainted by humanity, but at times G-d instituted religious behavior can be very faith building.”
At age nineteen, I was pregnant with my first-born. It hit me for the first time that as a Mother, I was going to be responsible for not only my daughter’s physical well-being, but also her spiritual.
My journey on finding the ‘right religion’ began.
I had seen a commercial on television with a woman talking about a book being “Another Testament of Jesus Christ.” It was July 1996, a month prior to my daughter being born. I called the 1-800 number and talked to a lady who began to tell me about golden plates Joseph Smith found and how he was a prophet. I had never heard of this Joseph Smith and the whole story was fascinating. I was eager to learn more.
She told me she would send over missionaries to my house so I quickly gave her my address and information. I waited a couple of weeks, but the missionaries never showed. I called back twice and each time, someone promised I would receive my free copy of The Book of Mormon and a visit from the missionaries. It never happened.
After the birth of my daughter, I forgot about the story of Joseph Smith and was intent on raising my daughter Catholic, despite having very limited knowledge of the Church and its teachings. I was not married in the Church and while I did have her baptized, I never attended Mass.
My daughter’s father and I divorced shortly after my twenty-first birthday. We had moved to Alaska from Alabama and I was without family and friends for the first time in my life. All I had was my daughter and was starting to lack faith in God.
It was around that time, the Jehovah’s Witnesses entered my life. An avid reader since the age of three, I was intrigued by the many books, tracts, and magazines the Witnesses had to offer. I started a three day a week Bible Study and quickly began attending meetings.
I have always had a fear of the fire pit most religions teach as Hell. I didn’t seem good enough to go to Heaven, nor did I feel I was bad enough to go to Hell. But what were the options? It was one or the other!
Jehovah’s Witnesses teach there is no such thing as a fire-burning Hell. It is also taught that human beings do not have an immortal soul. This was a hard thing for me to believe. While I had like the fact that there wasn’t a Hell, I couldn’t believe humans lacked an immortal soul.
From the Jehovah Witnesses website: “Basically, when a person dies, his impersonal spirit does not go on existing in another realm as a spirit creature. It “returns to the true God who gave it.” (Ecclesiastes 12:7) This means that any hope of future life for that person now rests entirely with God.” The Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that Hell is simply a grave where bad and good people all go. Yet, Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that although humans lack a soul (the living are souls) there is hope for resurrection on Paradise Earth in which all the righteous and unrighteous will live for eternity.
I was a baptized member of one of Jehovah’s Witnesses for five years before becoming inactive. As one of Jehovah’s Witnesses I struggled with certain beliefs. Yet, I reasoned, not all religions are perfect. It was only when I prayed for days to God that I knew I was not being honest with myself by remaining in the religion. I quietly, without fanfare, left. Jehovah’s Witnesses are kind people and are devout in their faith. They call it “The Truth” and their members believe it to be. It is with this faith that many devote many hours in ‘spreading the Good News’ by knocking on doors offering tracts and free Bible Studies.
Jeanette Hanscome
Jeanette Hanscome is an author, teacher and speaker. She is a Christian. She accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior at the tender age of five, and at the age of thirteen, was baptized. She is the mother of two sons, ages 7 and 18. Both she and her husband have raised their boys in a non-denominational Christian home. I asked her if she felt her relationship is enhanced by her religion or was it the religion that enhanced her relationship. She wrote, “I think that the relationship can be enhanced by religion AND vice versa. As we pray, {we} learn from our pastors, spend time with other believers, and study, our relationship grows. At the same time, knowing God and appreciating what Christ did for us often draws us to want to be more disciplined with prayer and {our} Bible Study.”
Cheree Burgan, mother of two and my husband Ian Chase, have something in common. Both were raised without religion. However, they are extremely different in how they deal with it as adults. Burgan says she always had a curiosity within her heart about religion. She believes being raised without a religion was a blessing, because she’s always opened to religion and learning about Christianity. She claims to have a deep connection with Jesus Christ. My husband, on the other hand, is ambivalent, having not the desire or need for religion or seeking out a God of any kind.
Burgan says she grew up with a sadness, because her parents did not provide her with the answers she needed. She does not want her children to have the same kind of sadness, and makes a point of always taking them to church and introducing them to Christian faiths. My husband doesn’t feel the need for searching as he believes there isn’t a God.
How is it that two people with similar backgrounds end up with two different outlooks?
It also begs the question as to why would someone like me, who has always believed in God, marry an atheist? My experience with ‘Christian” men were not positive and I was leery of them. Obviously, they were not true Christians, but I think on a subconscious level, I shunned good men of faith. At twenty-two, already in one failed marriage and a single mother, my husband was a positive role model. He was (and still is) a morally good man, with a good heart and will go out of his way to help someone. He’s kind, funny, and intelligent. Those are attributes any woman could fall in love with. His ambivalence towards God and religion didn’t seem like it would be a problem. Sadly, it is a huge problem. I often wonder if my husband was to choose a religion and become rightful in his role as the Christian head, I would be content. I’m almost positive I would be.
I wanted to talk with Christian husbands and find out how they handle being the head of the household with their family. Nate Fennel is the Regional Manager for Body Renew Alaska’s Premier Fitness Studio, in Anchorage Alaska. Married with one daughter and a son on the way, Fennell says his faith helps him not only in his personal life, but also in the business world. He connects with God everyday through prayer and reading the Bible, and always listens to his spiritual leaders. He is an example of a good Christian father and husband so I asked him what is his religion. He simply replied. “Christianity.”
But what part of Christianity?
Fennell, along with Hanscome, is non-denominational, and says he is not open to other religions, but is open to learning about other faiths and how they build their relationship with GOD.
When I think back to my life, I am aware of the many times different religions have made an appearance into my life. As a child, my father brought home a children’s book of Bible Stories for us kids. He worked for the railroad and found it on the train tracks. My mother began reading it to us, but when she saw the word, “Jehovah” in it, she threw it out. It was published by the Watchtower Society and distributed by the Jehovah’s Witnesses. She offered no explanation. I remember sifting through the trashcan, looking at the colorful pictures and wondering why she would throw out such a beautiful book.
The Witnesses were treated with disdain and hatred whenever they knocked on our door. My aunt was the most harsh towards them, snapping or yelling at them to leave her porch. I distinctly remember thinking, “When I grow up, I’m going to be nice to the Jehovah’s Witnesses.” Perhaps this is why it was so easy for me to accept their beliefs… despite the flaws I had seen in the beginning. I wanted to believe and I wanted it to be right. In a way, when I studied with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I felt a connection.
The Mormons also made an appearance throughout my life. I’ve been surprised to find out how many of my good friends and children’s friends are Mormon. I also can’t forget the times I have read the Book of Mormon and when I do I feel a connection.
We celebrated Hanukah this past year and we try to do Shabbat every Friday. I have decided to make sure we celebrate the Jewish Holidays and study the Torah. When I talk to my Jewish friends, I feel a connection.
I pray Novenas and feel peaceful when I go to Mass. I like the idea of the Eucharist and confessing my sins to a priest. However, when I go to Bethel Chapel, a non-demonational church in the neighborhood of Mountain View in Anchorage, I feel the Holy Spirit and raise my hands towards the Heavens during the Praise session of the service. Whether I’m in Mass or praising Jesus through song or listening to someone pray in tongues…I feel a connection.
In all these different religions amongst friends, I feel a strong connection and I continue to ask myself, “Why?” Why can’t I have what they have? They each have a strong belief in their religion and even if it isn’t strong (but their faith in God is) a contentment in it.
I continue to search. I continue to pray. I find God in Mass. I find God in a small church that looks like a light house built as a cabin. I find God when I read the Torah and visit the Jewish synagogue, and I always find God when I read the Bible. I talk to God. And sometimes when I listened with my heart, and not my ears, He talks back. This I believe with a strong heart, and with a strong faith.
I don’t believe all religions are true, but I think there are some who are diligent in finding the truth. Some are content in staying the same. Some change with the times.
I will continue to pray and ask for God’s guidance. I know He is with me and I know in my heart He is leading me down a path in which His works and His words will be glorified.
I’m the passenger in this ride, and it is with this knowledge, I am at peace.
Resources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Catholic_Church
http://www.larryhuchministries.com/Jewish_Roots/
http://www.larryhuchministries.com/Jewish_Roots/Shabbat.cfm
http://www.messianic.com/articles/basics.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/
http://lds.org
http://bethelchapel.org/
UPDATE:
Since becoming an inactive Jehovah’s Witness, I’ve taken great strides in never speaking about them in a negative light. I have pretty much tried to become invisible to other Witnesses as I didn’t want any uncomfortable scenarios. Looking back, this was for my protection as no one wants to be rejected because of their beliefs, however, I see I was doing the same thing.
So I started to reach out. One such person was someone very dear to me, someone I considered family. She and her sister both have decided to no longer be in contact with me because of my decision.
It’s hard. I know I could have taken a different route, not blog about my experience, and stay silent, but what kind of life is that? I believe in God, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I know I’m God’s child, and from my studying God’s Word and speaking with Him in prayer, my life as a Jehovah’s Witness isn’t in truth. Does this mean I’m right and they’re wrong? I can’t answer that, because I’m human and I can only go by what I’ve been shown in the Bible and what I feel is in my heart. In that sense, it is right to me. It is an overwhelming right that can’t be ignored or brushed away.
No one likes to be rejected. I was rejected by family members when I became a Jehovah’s Witness and rejected by friends who were like family because I left the Witnesses. Had I not been baptized a Witness, everything would be okay. I feel as if I’ve lost two families in one lifetime and it hurts.
The irony is overwhelming.
So what does one do now? I keep going. I will keep searching and relying on God for instruction. It’s late in the game, and I know it’s HIM I will put my trust in. Not any human being…and certainly, not myself.
